Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize