you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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