Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
