pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
