but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
