the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
