so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hippo gnu deer
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
