When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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