so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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