i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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