idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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