Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
