How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
