All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
