After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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