just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
