you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
