I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I CAN MOONWALK!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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