i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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