Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
