Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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