remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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