the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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