Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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