it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
