Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
this is an emotional support booty call
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
