you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
God, I missed his penis.
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