I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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