we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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