So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
