The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
