No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
