hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Mom said you looked used
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
