He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
someone owes me an orgasm
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
