I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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