My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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