I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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