I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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