as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Houston, we have a blender
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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