drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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