I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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