i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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