it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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