Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize