I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
