I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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