before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
