You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
