Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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