and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the liver wants what the liver wants
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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