I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
