In the future we'll all be gay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize