she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
