Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
