Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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