Plan B is the new Plan A
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
