do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
