sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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