if i can run in heels then i can drive
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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