Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize