My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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