Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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