i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
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i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
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ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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