Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
