just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
