you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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