Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We need to get me chipped asap
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize