atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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