It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
