i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
